What Am I Tolerating Part I

"MOM! When are you going to fix this light???" My daughter was exasperated, and who could blame her? The light in the hallway had not been working for weeks because I couldn't get the bulb in the socket. The fixture had not been installed properly, so the angle was tricky. Finally the stars were correctly aligned and I did get the thing working. When we recouped the luxury of a hallway in which you could see at night, I felt a little surge of joy every time I flicked that switch. I had eliminated a toleration.

We have all learned to tolerate a lot. We put up with things every day that zap our energy. Most of the time we are not even aware of them, we adapt to them, but they still hold us back, create frustration and anxiety and have a negative impact on the quality of our lives. They can be things like a light bulb, or other people's behavior, unmet needs, crossed boundaries, unfinished business, frustrations, problems, and our own behavior. Identifying and handling tolerations is beneficial in that it frees up our energy to focus on what we want and builds our self-esteem, as it is a step towards taking full responsibility for our selves.

Most of the people that I coach have too much on their plates, so we
often begin our work together by freeing up some energy, and one of the most effective ways to do this is by identifying and eliminating tolerations. They range in size and in the effort required to eliminate them.

My light bulb is a good example of how you can handle a toleration with a quick fix or deal with the source to eliminate the toleration. Getting the bulb changed handles the toleration, but getting the fixture reinstalled so that the bulb can be easily changed eliminates the toleration