Stop Shoulding On Yourself

Shoulds are those things that you think you have to do, but don't want to do. Consider getting rid of your shoulds. Yes, you can. I can hear you saying, no I can't. I must do things that I should do or nothing would get done, or I'll never lose weight, or I'll never do the laundry, or never get those invoices submitted, or send in those insurance bills............. Well, consider this.

You can increase your energy by identifying and getting rid of your shoulds. Do you have goals that you drag around like an albatross, year after year? These are energy sappers and they are not helping you get what you want. Goals that you make over and over again and don't achieve are shoulds, not wants. They take your power away, cost you a lot in terms of your self-esteem,and are frustrating. Think of all the extra energy that you could be using productively in your business and your personal life. They make us feel unworthy,that we are not in charge of ourselves, and that we're hanging out waiting for things to happen.

Take some time now to think about your goals. Evaluate whether they are based on shoulds or wants. The should goals make you feel burdened and/or have been on your list for a while. Dump them. Oh no, if I do I’ll never lose weight. Well, has saying that you should lose weight year after year helped you lose weight? Hmm, can this be reframed, become something you want to do, be based on your values?

Use this 4-step process to liberate yourself from shoulds:
1- Identify them, all of them, don't let that nagging inner voice stop you.
2- Just get rid of as many as you can. Take the leap. Has not doing (fill in the blank) really had a negative impact on you?
3- Reframe around your wants and values. A weight loss goal is a great example of this. Instead of I should lose weight, how about I want to take great care of myself. I want to feel great.
4- Get support and delegate. Let's stick with the example above .You could decide to work with a coach, a nutritionist, work with a personal trainer, take a dance class, get a facial, or get a massage. If this isn't working for you, go back to step 2. If you don't want to do anything, if your goals don't resonate with your values, stop dragging them around. They're not doing you any good.

Stop shoulding on yourself today!