Self-Esteem and Change-Part I

In the remarkable book, Light in August by William Faulkner, one of the characters is man who has been repeatedly abused and isolated, yet does not move. Here is how Faulkner explains it: "A fellow is more afraid of the trouble he might have then he ever is of the trouble he already got. He'll cling to trouble he's used to before he'll risk a change."

It is more usual then not to resist change, running the gamut from the experience of Faulkner's character to staying in unsatisfying relationships and work to not trying new activities.

All behavior is a reflection of self-esteem, including our response to change. Resistance to change and fear of the unknown characterizes low self-esteem. High self-esteem correlates with comfort in managing change.

Sometimes we get some lead-time to deal with change, sometimes change is rapidly thrust upon us. I thought about his when I had the privilege of presenting one of the awards at the Honors Assembly at Helen Hayes Hospital, a rehabilitation facility in West Haverstraw, New York.

In my experience, award ceremonies are often can be dull, even the lavishly produced Oscars, and I wasn't looking forward to two hours of presentations. Contrary to my expectations, I was riveted for the entire event. Awards were given to people who had experienced severe physical injury, and had made incredible progress: a father of young children who was rendered helpless after being hit by falling tree branch now a person using a wheel chair and living independently, a nurse who became paralyzed from the waist down who is now walking and back to work, a man who had suffered multiple fractures, burns over 13% of his body, lost several fingers, and came to the event the day after hiking up a mountain, a young man who lost both legs in an accident and is now walking. These are dramatic examples of how change can be suddenly foisted upon us. The honorees were a diverse group of people with one thing in common. They were optimistic and grateful, key characteristics of those with high self-esteem.